ICU Memories

My ICU memories are a bit fuzzy, but according to others I remember most of it. The surgery lasted 7.5 hours and I was wheeled into ICU around 11:30pm on Sunday, July 25th. The surgery went well, and the only unnerving part was that the lungs didn't arrive until much later than expected. From what I understand, they arrived around 7:30pm.

My husband was the only person that saw me in transit with a huge group of staff and even more IVs and lines. He said I looked dead. That must have been very scary for him. After about fifteen minutes, he and my family were allowed to visit me. I was on sedated and on the ventilator at first. Even though unconscious, I was still able to shake my head or nod to questions, particularly if my husband asked them.

My husband said the first thing I did was try to rip out the ventilator. Instantly my hands reached for it. I was restrained to prevent this. I still bucked off my blankets and tried my best to get at it!

I remember being quite comfortable in ICU. The most difficult part was coming off of the ventilator. Prior to this, I had a bronchoscopy that I don't remember at all. There had been some secretions in the right lung, but they couldn't tell if they were old or new, so they took some samples and cleaned it out. When they started to decrease the sedation and the ventilator settings to see how I was breathing with less assistance, I started gagging. I have such a sensitive gag reflex. Ugh. At one point I was rolled slightly on my side and I felt the tubes move and I couldn't get them in a comfortable place again. They kept suffocating me. I was so glad to get them out! I wasn't able to speak for a while because my throat was so sore, though I tried to whisper. I also used a laminated alphabet sheet to communicate, but I could hardly see it, let alone point to the correct letter. I relied on people guessing what I was trying to say and just confirming it. My sister in law was best at this game.

I remember bringing my hand to my face and looking and my nails. "My fingernails are pink!" Apparently I had done this several times before my sister-in-law told me that they already know!

I was soon eating jello and ice chips.

I really enjoyed having my family around me. I am a people person and am used to having company in the hospital. I dozed in and out of conversations which helped me through. One of my side effects was hearing conversations that didn't exist. I would hear something, want to respond, and then open my eyes to see that everyone in the room was asleep. Or else there were different people in the room that were supposedly talking. Weird. I also remember being really hot.

As I became more aware, I was already trying to figure out the routine tests that the nurses were doing. I was fascinated with the art tap, a line into the artery in my wrist that was used to check my blood gas on a regular basis. I was also really interested in the cardiac pressure test.

I was soon able to sit up, and later my physio came to stand me up for the first time. It was amazing how much fluid I gained in such a short time- almost 10 kg or 25 pounds!

Soon more IVs were discontinued and I was eating my first meal, soup and a roast beef sandwich. One of the fabulous nurses had braided my hair for me and tidied up all of my med lines down to only two IV poles.

I also remember my surgeon coming in to check on me. I couldn't thank him enough. I asked him what my old lungs looked like when he took them out. He said that they were really heavy and dense. They were full of infection. There was so much scarring that all of the airways were hard. Basically, he was surprised they were doing anything for me. He also said that my old lungs hadn't been adhered to my chest wall, which made removing them easier. He also said my new lungs were perfect!

I had two of my six chest tubes removed before I left ICU. Didn't feel a thing! I also had a PCA pump hooked up so I could press a button to get a morphine boost on demand.

I was so impressed with my care. Not only is the ICU facility state-of-the-art and only one year old, but the staff were incredible. The nurses were close to my age, but they were so experienced and professional. I was so lucky to be in their care.

On Tuesday afternoon at 3:30pm I left ICU to go to the transplant step-down unit. Another hurdle cleared!