Home Sweet Home

I came home yesterday! This time I spent nine days in the hospital on IVs. I was surprised to go home IV-free, but I am feeling better and I think there's a concern about how much tobra I've been on lately. Realistically, it's only a matter of weeks before I'm back on it anyways.

It feels so good to be back at home. My husband hardly sleeps when I'm gone, so it's good we can get back to our routine. This time my hospital stay was a bit different. I usually have tons of visitors, but this time I didn't tell anyone I was in except family and a couple of friends. My family spent lots of time with me (maybe too much?) and two friends came to visit me. I didn't really hear much from my best friends though. Maybe this hospital stuff is getting old fast.

I know I hesitated coming into hospital, but I'm glad that I went in. It's hard to notice the slow decline when I'm occupied at home doing stuff. It's also hard to admit that it's happened already. In hospital, I could see that I started feeling like myself again around the one week mark. The difference was easy to notice because it happened so quickly. As much as I don't enjoy the hospital, it was the right place to be. I can't afford any more damage to my lungs.

I don't know why I can't have an uneventful hospital stay. I thought for a moment that this might be the first one, but I was wrong. I understand that little glitches are going to happen. I can get over that stuff. Luckily for me, I can speak for myself and ensure nothing crazy happens. But this week, a major mistake happened to me. My nurse gave me someone else's IV meds. I usually check the bag once it's hung, but this time I rushed into the shower and didn't see it until I came out. It was an awful feeling to know that something bad had happened, but I wasn't sure how bad. My stomach was in knots. In the end, after insisting that I page my doctor, I was reassured that I'll be alright. I still felt violated; someone had put something into my body that I didn't want.

Don't get me wrong, my CF team is fabulous and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I feel very lucky to be surrounded by staff that have known me for 11 years (since I transferred from the Children's) and care SO much. But the staff I see in hospital (nurses, etc.) aren't in the same category. Some are really nice and competent, and some don't get CF at all and can't even give me the right IV bag.

Glad I'm back at home, safe and sound.